Cat Weekend

January 30, 2005

It appears to be a cat themed weekend. Instead of posting on the Iraq election (go read Juan Cole), I am posting some bizarre cat threads I found recently.


First from Something Awful, The Truth About Cats and Dogs.

The domestication of cats and dogs is similar to inviting a person over to your house and then punching them in the face the moment they enter the door. Over thousands and thousands of years we have domesticated dogs and cats and invited them into our homes. Yet in that vast amount of time we have done nothing to learn how to take care of these animals and figure out what makes them tick. Actually let me rephrase that. We do know how to take care of these animals but for some reason we disregard all of this information and continue to feed them sub par meals, fill their shit boxes with dangerous chemicals, and remove important parts of their bodies simply because we choose to be ignorant. If dogs really are “man’s best friend” and cats really are an occasionally mobile piece of furniture, why don’t we treat them that way? Why do we get cats if we’re only going to feed them garbage? Ignorance. That’s all. In today’s update I am going to show you everything wrong with the way we take care of our pets and you’re simply going to stop doing those things. The problem will be solved, I will feel great knowing I did something worthwhile, and I will go back to defecating in front of my neighbor’s house and blaming it on their kids. Are we all on the same page here? Okay, let’s begin.

Then this from Pharyngula, Cats. Must. DIE!

I have a cat. He’s a bit of a big pain in the butt, always pestering us for attention and wanting to be fed and petted and all that fuzzy fol-de-rol…but what I did not realize was that he is a feline tool of the devil. It’s just as well I’m an atheist, because good Christians shouldn’t keep cats. Why, you ask? Read this fascinating page by a Jehovah’s Witness that documents the evil of Felis domesticus.

And the fattest cat ever is…(I know its an old picture, but its too cute.)

From Cynical: A life we get Cat Query

Do all cats go crazy about the smell and taste of chlorine?….’Cause all this licking makes me think of that line from “The Truth About Cats & Dogs”: “It’s okay to love your pets; just don’t LOVE your pets.”

And finally, from dejafoo, Meryl, Cats, Division of Labor

Cats kill things. Stalin killed things too, and everyone admits that Stalin was pretty evil. Here’s what Stalin didn’t do – Stalin didn’t used to bring injured but still living birds into my sister’s room at 6am, and then release them so that she “could catch them herself.” You know what else Stalin didn’t do? Stalin didn’t walk up to my family on the porch one afternoon to get our attention, and then turn around, climb up a tree, and start trying to throw baby birds out of a nest. Those things were beyond the pale for even Stalin – not for our cats though.

Take that serious news! It’s my fucking sunday night and I’ll be damned if I’m going to focus on reality! Buuaaahh haa haa!

Advertisements

One Response to “Cat Weekend”

  1. shelley Says:

    Heh. Now this is my kind of news!


Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: